27 Ramadan 1430H
How have you been? How’s your IMAAN lately? Maybe I should ask myself that question. I don’t know. I think I am really behind with my ‘ibadah. I supposed there’s no point regretting it now since Ramadan is almost over. Earlier this morning after my Subuh prayer, I started reflecting on what I have actually done in the last 26 days of Ramadan. To start with, I immediately got my periods in the first 7 days of Ramadan. Well you know what it means. 7 days of doing nothing. I know that should not be the case. I supposed I could have done more but I don’t know what to do. And I was feeling a bit down since everyone was racing to increase their ‘ibadah and there I was, not fasting and not being able to pray either. Then finally I was able to start fasting again. But now school had started. I was busy catching up with my assignments and tutes and lectures. I could not find time to sit and read the Quran during the day. But alhamdulillah I’ve been consistent with my tarawih prayers and I found myself at peace amidst the chaotic uni life. But I still could not wake up for qiyam early in the morning. I know I should have strived harder and fight over that precious sleep of mine and stand in prayers. I started feeling guilty when I thought about how before, I could get up early in the morning to watch a live sports match on TV or go to school/work or go for a holiday trip; all of which I was capable of waking up early. Why not for prayers? What other greater things triumph worshipping Allah? None! I’ve always realised that. I’ve just been stubborn. Others might think of me as ungrateful. Also true. But this Ramadan has reminded me again how dependent were we before towards Allah, and still are. When it’s near the breakfast time, I’ve always yearned for the food that I made for dinner because I was so hungry. Then I started thinking. Did I thank Allah for all the blessings of having the food on the table everyday before, even when it’s not Ramadan? As easy as Allah can provide us with food, as easy it will be for Allah to take away His food. Alhamdulillah, I thank You Allah for all your blessings, that if I started counting them, I would not be able to, because your blessings are numerous and endless. It’s near Maghrib now. Thank you Khadijah, for reading my letter. Please, please, please advise me on how I can improve the remaining Ramadan as I don’t want to miss out anymore I’m the one who will be at loss, not Allah. I pray to Allah that you will be in good health and may all your ‘ibadah be accepted and your sins pardoned. And lastly, I thank Allah for giving me such a beautiful friend like you who always remind me to look for Allah’s blessing and acceptance in everything that I do. Alhamdulillah
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